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CRUSADER CHUMS: A TALE OF INTRIGUE, POLITICS, HERESY, AND POTENTIAL INCEST. PART 11 - KEBAB REMOVAL UNIT

THREAD THEME

KICKIN' THINGS OFF RIGHT WITH SOME KEBAB REMOVAL!

Chicks dig kebab removal

The kebab has surrendered

DONT NEEEEED NO FRIENDS!

Hitler McStalin's picture

CRUSADER CHUMS: A TALE OF INTRIGUE, POLITICS, HERESY, AND POTENTIAL INCEST. PART 10 - EMPIRE

It's up to young Hitler McStalin to finish the enemies of his father, MorningWood and create the empire that he so desired.


HOLY FUCK WARS, WARS, WARS!

Natalia, Morning's youngest child, and our sister, inherited the kingdom of Brittany, so we offer to assist her against the pretender rebels.

Pretty sure Natalia II sent assassins after us, but Copycat II saved us.

Hitler McStalin's picture

CRUSADER CHUMS: A TALE OF INTRIGUE, POLITICS, HERESY, AND POTENTIAL INCEST. PART 9 - HALF-HAND

MorningWood was given the name Half-Hand for being a maimed, unstoppable killing machine. HE'S MISSING HALF OF A HAND, AND HE STILL HAS 18 MARTIAL!

WE CAN HOLD EM' IT'S OKAY, THEY CROSSED A MAJOR RIVER AND THEY'RE AT HALF MORALE.

Jeanne d'Arc: The After Years

Frosty doesn't really "get" laws.

Frosty knows no fear

Hitler McStalin's picture

CRUSADER CHUMS: A TALE OF INTRIGUE, POLITICS, HERESY, AND POTENTIAL INCEST. PART 8 - CLAIMING FRANCIA

So MorningWood ended up becoming a martial badass, so we gave him the war focus for now.

Morning knows how to pick em', even if she's orthodox.

The spawn of the spawn of the spawn of Satan.


Frosty, the most attractive and mad 0 year old the realm has ever seen.

Hitler McStalin's picture

CRUSADER CHUMS: A TALE OF INTRIGUE, POLITICS, HERESY, AND POTENTIAL INCEST. PART 7 - THE END OF AN ERA

Nat plans to take Paris from Copycat II via imprisonment by hired thugs, followed by revoking his title for being in jail.

Nat adopts some of the earliest Nietzsche phrases.

Nat is nearly seduced by this guy, who's married to our cousin. The cruel irony of it all.

HOP OFF MY DICK BRO!

Hitler McStalin's picture

CRUSADER CHUMS: A TALE OF INTRIGUE, POLITICS, HERESY, AND POTENTIAL INCEST. PART 6 - VIVRE LA FRANCE

Inky's conqeust of France continues from beyond the grave, in the form of her daughter and successor Natalia Poklonskaya, Child of the Child of Lucifer. DEUS VULT!

Nat also builds an observatory and watches the stars and chronicles her findings, eventually become a published scholar. Maybe she'll find her own dick out there among the stars.

Hitler McStalin's picture

CRUSADER CHUMS: A TALE OF INTRIGUE, POLITICS, HERESY, AND POTENTIAL INCEST. PART 5 - THE TYRANNY OF THE ANTICHRIST

So CopyCat declared open rebellion against the queen. That event happened a lot, Inky sure did love to torture people in her dungeon.

Who is leading troops, while pregnant with the bastard child of a bishop.


AND NOW SHE HAS THREE PAGAN WITCHES FROM PARTS UNKNOWN TO COMMAND HER ARMY.


>Hail Satan!

Hitler McStalin's picture

CRUSADER CHUMS: A TALE OF INTRIGUE, POLITICS, HERESY, AND POTENTIAL INCEST. PART 4 - DARKNESS FALLS

Inky has a weird nanny.

IF ONLY GOLDENOLDBOY WAS HERE, SHE'D BE BURNED AT THE STAKE BEFORE NOON!

Shiggy got typhoid fever. Twice, and lived. Is the man unstoppable?

Shiggy's got a case of the Frosty bonks.

Shiggy buries his hunting dog in a pyramid. It's only right.

Hitler McStalin's picture

CRUSADER CHUMS: A TALE OF INTRIGUE, POLITICS, HERESY, AND POTENTIAL INCEST. PART 3 - VIVRE LA CHUM

Duke GoldenOldBoy of Da Chum has died a natural death at the ripe old age of 53, Shiggy "The Mad" inherits everything.

Shiggy starts off his rule with a summer fair for the peasants and rabble.

I'LL CREATE MY OWN KINGDOM, WITH BLACKJACK, AND HOOKERS. REMOVE THE KARLING DYNASTY FROM EXISTENCE, CATHAR ALL DAY EVERYDAY

DON'T DIIIIIE!

Hitler McStalin's picture

CRUSADER CHUMS: A TALE OF INTRIGUE, POLITICS, HERESY, AND POTENTIAL INCEST. PART 2 - THE FIRST CHUM REBELLION

We're gonna need some new tax collecting methods, our steward got killed trying to take their money.

We had to remove viking raiders, get married via eugenics program, have over 9000 kids, and change the succession law off of gavelkind because that sucks.

The Eugenics program in action, we have two hereditary traits in the bloodline now, Quick and Strong.